A moment that changed me: I stopped restraining myself – and found the love of my life

<p>For years I tried to be the perfect girlfriend: bright, funny, engaging and fragrant. Then I stubbed my toe, and my ferocious roar of pain showed me I could be myself</p><p>In 2008, I was in my mid-20s and single. My relationships until then had all been fun, flirty and conflict-free – which was unsurprising, given I expended so much energy on male approval.</p><p>Depressingly, this seemed normal in the 00s and demanded a specific type of vigilance. As well as trying to look perfect for every date, there was also the effort of trying to <em>be</em> perfect: bright and funny and engaging and fragrant, but also vaguely unavailable. Endearingly kooky was OK; but I didn’t want to come across as weird. Misery and anger were off limits. I never risked showing I cared. No wonder love had failed to launch.</p> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2025/oct/08/a-moment-that-changed-me-i-stopped-restraining-myself-and-found-the-love-of-my-life">Continue reading...</a>