My wife and I don’t have sex and she refuses to talk about it. Should I just give up?

<p>I long for physical intimacy and feel ashamed and unattractive when she rebuffs me – but she gets angry when I try to discuss it</p><p><strong>My wife and I have been together for more than 10 years</strong><strong> and married for four</strong><strong>. </strong><strong>We have </strong><strong>small children. I love her deeply</strong><strong>, but our marriage is essentially empty of </strong><strong>sex and physical intimacy, and she refus</strong><strong>es to talk about it beyond acknowledging there is a problem. I am a woman who values physical intimacy</strong><strong> and I am deeply attracted to </strong><strong>her. I want to feel more desired and alive. But lovemaking is extremely rare, always initiated by me</strong><strong> and follows the same pattern. She does not focus on giving me pleasure. The rest of the time I am rebuffed, leaving me feeling ashamed and unattractive. Even the mildest of playful or suggestive messages I </strong><strong>send </strong><strong>are met with silence. So I bother less and less.</strong></p><p><strong>Naturally, I want to know what </strong><strong>is going on for her. We are already </strong><strong>having couples</strong><strong> therapy, but this is not a subject we have tackled successfully. Outside </strong><strong>these sessions, my attempts to discuss it are either avoided or met with anger</strong><strong>. </strong><strong>Do </strong><strong>I simply give up, after so many years of trying and failing to make things better?</strong><strong> I cannot </strong><strong>forget my needs and desires just because they are not reciprocated.</strong></p> <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyl